The Big Day!

Ready or not, here she comes. I am having my 4th baby tomorrow - Yahoo! I will be induced sometime around 6 AM. My neighbor laughed at me the other day because I keep talking about how great it will be to be done being pregnant. She pointed out that I have neglected to mention that I am excited to actually see, hold, love (etc.) the baby. Well, I am actually thrilled to see the baby, I'm just a little consumed with the discomforts of weighing 37 more pounds than normal and having a 43 inch waist. As I pass the time, waiting for my trip to the hospital, I have been sewing and making all sorts of goodies. I included a picture of my latest creation that I made for my 3 year old, the one I'm sure will have the hardest time with the intruder in our house. I'm hoping for the best!

The Honest Truth

Yesterday after school I was driving our carpool home. The carpool consists of my 3 kids along with my sons first love, Megan, (he would die if he read this) and her 11 year old brother, Ethan. We have been carpooling since the kids began preschool 5 years ago and so Megan and Ethan are pretty comfortable with me. I casually mentioned to them, "Hey, I saw your mom running this morning. She was running with your dog." The dog is a new addition to the family, a black lab named Chalmers that was rescued from a shelter. Megan proceeded to get out of the car, but not before adding, "Uh, oh, that's not good for the dog. He's not supposed to be running." Of course I had to ask why. Her response was, "Because he just had his balls removed."

I love it!

The 19 Pound Baby

I have an apology to make. I have been away from my blog with the countdown of my 4th baby arriving, running around, getting things done like a mad woman. Will it ever all be done? She could be here any day, although I am guaranteed to be induced on September 30. Yahoo! I am huge and miserable and soooooo ready to get this baby out.

As I have written in previous blog posts, complete strangers have loved to make comments about my size. My stomach is enormous, much bigger than it ever was with the other 3 kids. This morning I logged onto my computer and the first thing a saw was terrifying - every pregnant woman's nightmare. It was a story from the Today show about a baby born in Indonesia that was 19 pounds. The pictures say it all - Yikes! He is practically a man. The poor mom. Too bad they didn't show pictures of her or her stomach. Maybe they could have started a fund to collect money for the tummy tuck she will need after carrying her man-child. Poor lady, at least she had a c-section. All I have to say is HURRY, get my baby out. It's gaining weight everyday! Check this out: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/32999190#

A Cultural Experience

Warning: This post contains foul language, not my own, but it's still not nice . . . . About 14 years ago when my husband and I started dating I was living in an old rental house with 3 other college girlfriends. One of my roommates was fairly demanding of our landlord, Jerry. I can remember when the refrigerator broke, she insisted that Jerry buy us a new one. We were all pretty excited for the new one to arrive because our old one was really run down and noisy. I remember getting home from work the day the refrigerator was delivered and being shocked that our definition of new and Jerry's definition of new were quite different. He had bought a very old avocado green refrigerator to replace the previous one. It was new to us, but not brand new, fresh off the assembly line. It was probably 2 years newer than the one that was taken away, but it leaked so we had to keep a towel on the ground that quickly became wet and smelly.

My husband (boyfriend at the time) and I thought it was hilarious how Jerry had passed off this horrible contraption as a "new" refrigerator. We were also a little shocked about being given a gross, used appliance. Fast forward 14 years . . . . . I am now the proud owner and landlord of a 100 year old house that has been converted to a triplex. Over the past 6 years I have discovered the benefit of buying used appliances. They are not quite the same as Jerry's used appliances, but they are not new. I can find a $200 name brand, refurbished appliance with a warranty (that really does look almost new) and save about $200.

This week I needed a "new" range for one of my units. I headed down to my trusty used appliance store, Glenn's. You can almost always be assured at Glenn's that there will be many workers milling around, eating, talking, and not doing much working as well as several random children occasionally appearing from the bowels of the store. The store is filled with smoke, like a bar at 2AM and Nascar signs decorate the walls. I have never been nervous about going to the store, but it is in a rougher part of town.

On this particular day there were only 2 employees working. It was Labor Day so the store was pretty quiet. When I entered, I was immediately greeted by tons of fresh cigarette smoke and a man, we'll call him Multipersonality, eating some Taco Bell. Glenn was nowhere in sight. I told him I was looking for a gas range and he pointed the way. We chatted a bit and I quickly selected one that looked much newer and tons nicer than the current one we had. It was time for the employee to ring me up. When I told him I was going to use my credit card, he immediately called the only other employee in the store for help. We'll call him Biker Dude. He was extremely skinny, smelled of smoke, had long graying hair that was pulled into a ponytail, several tattoos, and wore a bandanna on his head - very Willy Nelsonesque. He claimed he also didn't know how to work the credit card machine.

Biker Dude suggested, "Call Glenn." Multipersonality got on the phone and suddenly the atmosphere turned from late-night bar winding down calm to screaming and fist-fighting angry. The conversation between Glenn and Multipersonality went something like this (of course I'm only hearing one side), "I don't know how to work the f. . .ing credit card machine. How am I supposed to know how to work this f. . .ing machine. I don't f. . .ing work in the front. This is all your f. . .ing fault because of your f. . . ing dog. What the f. . .!" Biker Dude stood totally unfazed. I tried to as well. Then my mind began to wander. What if this guy does something crazy. He's really mad. Should I run? I really need that range.

I can hear the headlines on the evening news now - What looked like a Giant Hippo fleeing from Glenn's Appliance Store today in Kansas City, Kansas actually turned out to be a tremendously large pregnant lady. She was running for her life and the life of her unborn child as a routine appliance sale turned ugly. The cause of the raucous, the inability to work a credit card machine.

Well, in the end I made it out alive and I managed to purchase a "new" range. It was a cultural experience indeed - until next time!

You Don't Want to Miss "Paint Over"!

Calling all HGTV lovers. . . There is a new show, only 5 episodes long (at this point), that will be airing on HGTV this week. A friend of mine, Jennifer Bertrand, who went to the University of Kansas with me and was the Design Star season 3 winner, will be the host. If the show is a big hit, it could be extended. So friends, set your DVRs and prepare to watch her show. Here is a direct quote from Jen about her show, "The premise is that I get to help families in big life moments such as life after cancer, a kidney transplant, divorce, etc. and I do two room makeovers in their home. I so appreciate all of your support!!!!!" I have attached a link that will take you to more information about Jen and her show. Tune in and let's make this show a hit. Thanks!

http://www.hgtv.com/jennifer-bertrand/bio/index.html

“Paint Over” on HGTV

3 pm Central/ 4 Eastern

Monday-Friday Sept 7-11

One week only (5 new episodes)

Another Confidence Booster

As you can imagine, I am feeling quite huge right now. I have 3 weeks until I will have baby number 4. In the last 3 weeks I have suddenly developed too much amniotic fluid. A typical pregnant woman has about 3 pounds of fluid. I have 6 - Yippee! The only good side to this, is once the baby comes out, so does the fluid, an automatic 6 pound loss. You can't beat that! It doesn't feel great to be carrying around all these extra pounds and I feel more like a science experiment everyday. As I mentioned in previous blog posts, I am getting lots of comments from strangers about my size. I think the greatest (or should I categorize it as the worst?) one came on Monday. I was waddling into the grocery store with all three of my kids. I heard a car stop behind me and an old man (probably about 70) rolled down his window and said, "Miss, you think you've been eating enough food. You better slow down." Then he proceeded to laugh hysterically as he drove off. Ha! Ha! was all I could think. The other shoppers around me were completely shocked and telling me how great I looked. All I could think was, "It's almost over!" I don't think anything phases me anymore. Bring it on!

The Doll Saga

Recently, my two girls were playing so nicely in my 3 year old's bedroom. She has a great basket full of baby doll accessories since her favorite "game" is playing "babies". They had invited our neighbor over who is 4. The playing was going smoothly, everyone was happy when suddenly I heard screams. They were shrill and I knew they could only come from the mouth of my six year old. I am certain that one day she could win a screaming contest where she breaks the most glass bottles with her piercing scream. I went to investigate, trying not to act too rattled by the situation. "The girls don't want to play with me anymore," she pouted. I could only imagine that since she was the oldest, she started telling the girls what they had to do and how they had to play and they were fed up. "Why don't you go ask one of the other girls in the neighborhood to play," I responded and then returned to my sewing. It was suddenly quiet, but my daughter never left to go play with someone else.

Ahhh, silence. All were happy and my sewing resumed at it's previous pace. About 40 minutes later I went to check on everyone. As I ascended the stairs, I started to notice little pieces of fluff, the cotton type that is used to fill kids toys, littering the floor. Weird! As I walked towards the bathroom, there was more fluff, until I arrived at the kitchen table. Resting sadly on the table, as if something out of a horror flick, one of my 3 year old's baby dolls was lying completely mutilated on the table. Her soft middle had been severed in half and all of her insides were missing. The little voice box that used to say things like, "feed me" and "I love my mommy" was dangling from a half cut cord out of her body. Her plastic arms and legs lay limp at her sides. She was naked. Hmmm, I thought. I wasn't exactly excited about what the girls had chosen to do to occupy their time, but everyone was happy and quiet and they were playing so nicely.

I remember as a child being fascinated with my dolls and loving to cut off their hair just to see what would happen. "Maybe they would come alive, like in Toy Story, and regrow their hair", I would think. I could see this act of violence being similar to my childhood obsession of cutting my doll's hair. I let it go while they were playing. Afterall, noone was crying, noone was fighting, everyone seemed happy. About 25 minutes later the girls came in and requested a snack. As I fixed them cheese and crackers I thought this would be a nice teachable moment, "Girls, that's really sad that you decided to cut up that doll. I know it's going to be really missed. Now you don't have it to play with anymore," and I picked it up and dramatically dumped it in the trash can. Suddenly it was revealed that my 6 year old had done it. She wasn't playing with the other girls at all. She was seeking revenge on her sister for not including her.

She had maliciously mutilated the doll. I was furious. Of course I wanted to know why she had done such a thing. My daughter really couldn't explain her actions, she only hung her head in embarrassment. I'm sure it felt really good while she did it, getting revenge on her sister, but then having to admit that she did such a savage thing didn't feel so good.

"This was a very sad and mean thing to do. You chose a very expensive doll to destroy. You know you will have to buy her a new one," I informed her. I could tell she felt badly about ruining the doll. "That's okay if I have to buy her a new one, I have lots of money in my wallet" she said. "Yeah, but it will take all of the money in your wallet to buy a new one, " I responded. Suddenly her eyes looked sad and her head was spinning. She wouldn't have leftovers to buy herself something. Ruining her sister's doll wasn't such a good idea afterall.

The next week we made the trip to the store to find the perfect doll. All 3 kids went along since we needed to do some other errands as well. My 6 year old kept trying to convince my 3 year old that she didn't actually want a doll. A small toy would be better (and cheaper). "Oh no, we are here to replace a doll, and you are going to buy a doll. It's going to be just like the one you ruined," I kept telling her. I was on to her and she knew it. There truly wouldn't be any money left in her wallet. After examining all of the dolls, we found a great doll for my 3 year old. She couldn't wait to get it out of the box. We made our way to the cash register. The cashier was a friendly lady and my son immediately said, "My sister has to buy this doll. She cut the head off of my little sister's doll." The cashier started laughing. I shot her a look as if to say, "Hey, you're ruining this situation. There are lessons to be learned. This is not funny." Her face immediately turned somber. She looked at my daughter and said,"Oh, that's really sad that you hurt your sister's doll. I bet she was really upset." My 6 year old was embarrassed. I chimed in,"Yeah, and she has to use all of the money in her wallet to replace it. It's very sad." We continued to go back and forth about how terrible the situation was. In the end, my daughter got the point that what she had done was wrong. My 3 year old is the proud owner of a new doll and everyone seems happier again (maybe a little poor, but happy again).